Chai Chat: On (Mothers) and Daughters

Hi Guys! I’m reviving an old series called ‘Chai Chats’ today. There are so many topics/thoughts floating around in my head as a mom/entrepreneur/woman that I want to share (and want your fabulous advice on). I thought it would be fun to open up a different topic every few weeks and here your thoughts – and of course vent mine out too. It’s kind of like online therapy for me and you guys can join in! Today let’s talk about being moms to girls….

Today is Zara’s birthday. My sweet, sensitive, considerate, passionate, fiery, and absolutely beautiful little girl turns 9 today. As any mother knows, understanding how your child went from being a tiny baby weighing next to nothing, to a full grown little person in the blink of an eye is impossible. 

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Zara was a tiny babe when she was born, just 17 1/2′ inches long and weighing 5 pounds 2 ounces. But she had a fiery little spirit the moment we met her. In fact, she was pretty feisty in the womb! Born after a long series of complications and a very stressful delivery, Zara brought a type of sunshine and love into our family that we had no idea we needed. Of course we love her brother Armaan and he means the world to us, but would it be wrong to say that daughters/girls come with a different brand of energy?384405_338667466235590_715193279_n

She’s the baby of our family, but also the caretaker. She’s spoiled by all of us, but also goes out of her way to make sure that everyone is okay. If someone gets a scratch, she’s the one hunting for a band-aid, if someone is hungry she’s giving her dad a drive thru order, and most importantly if someone’s feelings or hurt or they are feeling sad, she’s doling out hugs.

As a mother, there is no comparison between my kids, I love them equally, but I do feel blessed that Zara has given me the opportunity to experience the mother/daughter relationship. It comes with it’s ups and downs, but it’s also a built in BFF. She gets me and I get her. We get our nails done, we shop together, and we both are team Starbucks (thank goodness!)  And even though I’m a bit sad that my cuddly baby is growing up, I can’t wait to experience the tweens and teens with this girl. She’s worldy, open to travel, loves art, and is crazy about life hacks and DIY videos on YouTube. 156253_430037737098562_238558853_n

Along with the excitement of a new age and experiences, I worry about staying connected with Zara. I worry about staying relevant and cool – because let’s be honest, eventually she’ll learn how to paint her own nail art from YouTube. I had a rather troubled relationship with my mom in my teens, mostly because I never felt heard, like she truly “got me”. So I guess my relationship goals with Zara at this point are to stay in her squad, and make sure she feels loved and understood.

It’s also important to me that I always be a safe place for my daughter to come with her concerns and questions. Growing up in a conservative family I was always a bit hesitant to to go my parents with the confusing questions about things like boys, alcohol, career choices etc. I hope my daughter (and my son) always feel comfortable talking to me about the tough stuff.10479034_486744411427894_8287579292770055088_n

And perhaps most importantly, I want to be a strong role model for Zara. To give her a living example of a woman living life on her own terms, reaching for career success, and feeling fulfilled at home with her personal relationships. A tall order but one I can hopefully live up to. In fact, having a daughter is what encouraged me to be an entrepreneur, shatter expectations, and be a mentor to other women. It’s amazing what having a daughter will do for a mother’s confidence. After all, my mini-me is always watching and learning from my actions, even when I don’t realize it!

Do you have a daughter? How is it the same or different from having a son? And most importantly how are you navigating the tweens/teens and staying connected with her?

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2 Comments

  1. August 30, 2016 / 6:26 pm

    I’m a new mom and my baby girl is only 2 months old… I already feel like she’s growing up way too fast! I definitely worry about the same things you mentioned. I wish there was a step by step guide to ensure that I will be able to handle all those difficult topics in the most appropriate manner and stay close to my baby girl. Right now I’m just trying my best to navigate through the newborn phase.

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