Lipstick: Rimmel Kate Collection #107
Yesterday was a place that I never want to go again, in fact, it’s a place I haven’t been in a while and didn’t even realize I knew the way back. People always say that once you’ve battled depression in your life it’s impossible to be fully over it, and this is something I’ve found to be true in my life, but for me there are two types of depression; one is a funk that lasts a couple of hours or a day and then I shake it off, the other is a dark never ending hole that scares the life out of me. Yesterday I was way too close to the second kind of depressed, a place that I battled too hard to get out of and am not willing to visit again!
As always, I share my reality with all of you not for sympathy, but just in case my reality mirrors even a tiny little bit of your life. It’s easy to see someone on the Internet, from far away and think ‘her life must be perfect’ (I do it all the time). It’s important to know though; everyone has demons, and everyone has a back story.
In my personal situation I’ve found gratitude to be a great antidote to feelings of depression. Last night I spent some time thinking about all the good things in my life and I felt uplifted and motivated. It’s easy to think about the things we don’t have (in my case perfect health and bread), and it’s just as easy to overlook what we do have. Without a doubt though, whenever I sit down and count my blessings – I feel truly blessed. So although I’ll never be perfectly ‘cured’ and there will always be the lurking danger of that dark place, I’ll always have this place to come back to and untangle my thoughts and fears. Today I feel exceptionally blessed to have this space and all you who read my words. This day is really looking up!
PS: We haven’t really talked about clothes lately (wink, wink, hint, hint, Raj) …. so I was thinking, I’ve bought quite a few pieces from Walmart in the last 6-8 months. I had pretty much written off Walmart clothes when my kids were little because I found the quality so poor, but the last few sweatshirts and sweaters I bought turned out pretty good.