Self Love

In honour of my third blog anniversary (and because I’m super behind on the 30 for 30 challenge) I’m sharing three outfits today. Two of them are outfits I’ve worn in the last few days but forgot to photograph so I’ve recreated them, and one is totally staged and I wish I was gutsy enough to wear it in real life!

self love 1

 

Worn: For a coffee date.

Outfit Details:
Shirt: Sears
Jeans: Old Navy Sweetheart Skinnies
Shoes: Le Chateau
Glasses: Forever 21

Pink Chai Style is 3 years old today, and I can hardly believe it! Three years ago I started this little ‘experiment’, a place on the internet to call my own. I was going through a time of my life where I needed stability; something that no one could take away from me, or stake a claim on. This blog became that and so much more. It also become a form of therapy. Taking a picture of myself everyday forced me to start seeing the positive in me; not just in my looks, but also in my personality, and smarts. For the first time in a long time I felt like someone with talent. Strange as it may sound; taking selfies helped me  heal years of self doubt.

On my birthday last year I decided to put ‘start a journey of self-love’ on my 35 before 35 list, mainly because I’m really hard on myself and say things to me that I would never say to another woman. Ironically, I’ve realized since I wrote that list last October that the journey began three years ago, when Pink Chai Style was born, I just hadn’t embraced the lesson until now.

self love 2

Worn: Work from home day

Outfit Details:
Shirt: Sears
Pants: Banana Republic Factory Store
Shoes: Aldo

self love 3

Worn: Just for fun

Outfit Details:
Shirt: Sears
Skirt: Thrifted
Shoes: Aldo
Hat: Sears

Now before you go thinking I’m super woman and have all these self doubt issues figured out, here’s another side of my reality; I got all dressed in this outfit on Wednesday, but couldn’t bring myself to leave the house in it. Partially because I knew people would give me strange looks (this outfit is not the norm in my neighbourhood), but mainly because I noticed in this picture that you could see my ‘roll’. Fellow mothers will know what I’m talking about – that little roll where I used to have a flat stomach before having kids. How crazy is that?  That’s my reality, one day I’ve got everything under control and feel like a rockstar, the next day I’m battling with the mirror again.

The good news though, after almost seven years I bought a bathing suit last week, and I went in the pool with my kids when we were in Harrison. Baby steps are the way to go with self love and appreciation; nothing happens over night.

As always, thank you for being my audience; listening to me as I untangle my web of sometimes messy, and often random thoughts. This blog probably wouldn’t exist if a whole of strangers who are now my friends hadn’t started visiting and commenting three years ago. So go on, have a cookie or a piece of cake tonight and celebrate, because you are the reason the words and pictures keep making an appearance here.

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55 Comments

  1. February 15, 2014 / 7:40 am

    Happy third blogaversary !! Keep doing what pleases you and the world will be alright . oh and forget the roll. No one notices. I love that third outfit.

  2. February 15, 2014 / 11:51 am

    Happy 3rd Blog Anniversary!
    And I simply Love that last outfit — it is FUN! It should be worn for fun.
    But I hear ya — I have to pick my clothing to disguise – not a roll, but I have an abdominal separation which bulges Above where the roll would be, so I always look 5 months pregnant still. So frustrating because crunches etc cannot fix it. they may have worked on the roll – but not that.
    anyway, I met you at ShesConnected in Toronto a couple of years ago where you were one of the panelists. I loved your session and I spoke with you a few moments afterward. And let me say – you were so articulate, you are beautiful!! – and you just exuded confidence!
    So always remember: you may actually be the Awesome that someone else is striving to be! 🙂

  3. February 16, 2014 / 8:11 pm

    I can’t decide whether 10 or 13 is my favourite. Very inspirational for sure!! Keep it up!

  4. February 17, 2014 / 11:14 pm

    be happy your roll is just a roll and not an entire TIRE!! lol

    by the way you totally look incredibly happy in that outfit you should wear it more 😀

    • February 18, 2014 / 10:08 am

      Thank you darling – you are my blessing, so glad to have you!

  5. February 18, 2014 / 2:33 pm

    I bought my first bikini when I turned 40. Is my body better now than it was in my 20’s? I doubt it… But I don’t care. I’m proud of who I am, and I feel sexy and confident in my 40-something (yes I still have baby rolls) body. It’s more about the attitude than it is how you look–even the most perfect person could find something to not like about their bodies if they wanted to.

    Personally, I think you have a slamming body! Remember that tight little dress you wore for the Bosa event? Hot momma!

    Love you! xo

    • February 18, 2014 / 6:03 pm

      Thanks Rebecca! I’ve never owned a bikini before either, maybe it’s something I could work up to 🙂

  6. February 18, 2014 / 6:21 pm

    I think you look awesome in all of trhe pictures and, besides the neighbourhood 😉 I like number 3 best, charming, cute and young.

  7. February 18, 2014 / 6:55 pm

    Love the outfits…very nice! Especially the glasses, they were my favorite!

  8. February 18, 2014 / 7:04 pm

    Congrats on the Anniversary! I love the different looks & you are just beautiful. My favorite look is the 10 of 30
    Keep up the great work

  9. February 19, 2014 / 10:29 am

    I think all three outfits look great, including the last one!!

  10. February 19, 2014 / 10:31 am

    Your roll is tiny; mine is a tire. I also have stretch marks. And wrinkles. I see the stretch marks as a sign of grace: we were blessed with one child, when we were certain we wouldn’t ever have one. I know that the journey to self-acceptance isn’t easy; that’s why I consider it a journey….it lasts our entire life-times.

    Blessings to you!

    Patty

  11. February 19, 2014 / 12:06 pm

    Happy blogiversary!! 🙂

    For what it’s worth, I didn’t even notice the ‘roll’ until you pointed it out, and I think the outfit looks great regardless. Love polka dot skirts!

  12. February 19, 2014 / 2:31 pm

    I am the same about the roll! I hate mine; it is probably my most self conscious point. I do love that skirt too!

  13. February 19, 2014 / 2:54 pm

    I love the third outfit. I like anything that is comfortable and easy. BTW, happy 3rd anniversary.

  14. February 19, 2014 / 3:58 pm

    Happy 3rd anniversary! Your blog is great. I love the third look, it looks amazing on you. I totally understand how taking pictures of yourself every day can help fight self-esteem demons. I noticed the same when I started making YouTube videos: It’s made me feel much more comfortable with the way I look, the way I move and the way I talk. Before, I couldn’t even listen to my voice without cringing. It’s definitely therapeutic!

  15. February 19, 2014 / 4:45 pm

    I absolutely LOVE the Just for Fun outfit (13 of 30)! That skirt is so sweet and it matches the blue jean top. Couldn’t do the hat, it wouldn’t match my face shape.

    I think you’re beautiful, and you have such great fashion style! I have to ask my sister for fashion advice, I’m totally stuck in the 80’s! 🙂

  16. Hannah Avery
    February 19, 2014 / 5:59 pm

    i think you really nailed the denim on denim look, and the skirt look is really cute too!

  17. February 19, 2014 / 7:34 pm

    OMG, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the last outfit! I don’t see any roll. All I see is fierceness. Women are so hard on themselves for no reason. You should hop back into that outfit and work it. I bet you would get compliments all day long.

  18. February 19, 2014 / 7:39 pm

    What a wonderful post! I totally hear ya about self doubt and I love that you’re facing it head on! Congrats on the three year mark! I look forward to coming back to your site to read more!

  19. February 19, 2014 / 8:04 pm

    Happy Blogaversary! I loved the outfits, they were great! I think the skirt and denim was my favorite.

  20. February 19, 2014 / 8:33 pm

    i am super proud of you for posting that last picture! it is a reality for almost all of us, that our tummies just don’t look like what they did pre-kids! i must admit, there have been many pictures i tossed because i couldn’t handle to pooch – oh the vanity! good for you!

  21. February 19, 2014 / 9:26 pm

    I love the first and third outfit. I love a denim shirt and the accessories really make it. Congratulations on your 3rd year!

  22. February 20, 2014 / 3:49 am

    I LOVE YOUR SENSE OF STYLE!!! Thank you for sharing. I know what you mean about needing a place to claim as your own that no one could take away from you. I am on this quest myself and turned to blogging for said reason! Thank you for the inspiration and not only with your sense of style but with your 3 year anniversary! Such a fun time!

  23. February 20, 2014 / 12:33 pm

    Happy Blog Anniversary!

    I love how you pull a jean shirt into a lot of outfits. I have a jean shirt in my closet that I need to pull out and wear. Maybe I will have to do that soon.

  24. February 20, 2014 / 7:04 pm

    I LOVE that third outfit. It’s so cute, and I can’t see any “roll!”

    I don’t know why we as women say things to and about ourselves that we would NEVER dream of saying to anyone else. It’s nuts. I am the first to admit that I do it all the time. I have absolutely no self confidence, especially when it comes to looks and fashion. I can totally understand your fight with yourself and the mirror.

    Thanks for the reminder that we need to treat ourselves at least as nice as we would a stranger on the street. It’s easy to tell someone else not to do that, but it’s hard when you’re talking to the mirror. Keep fighting the negativity, eventually we’ll all win the battle.

    And congrats on your blogging anniversary. Every day we continue to like what we do and keep going is a day worth celebrating!

    • February 20, 2014 / 7:44 pm

      Thanks Kim! I’m glad this post started such a great conversation, hopefully we can all keep inspiring each other to be nice to ourselves.

  25. February 23, 2014 / 2:26 am

    What a great post! Congratulation on your blogging anniversary !
    It is great to know that taking pictures of yourself helped you. It’s a great tip and I’m considering trying it too.

  26. February 23, 2014 / 8:49 am

    Hi Raj, you look beautiful and the outfits are lovely. I love the 35 for 35 list, I should do something like that! I always have ideas floating around in my head, which I often don’t get to. If I would put them down in a list I could start crossing them off. Congrats on your 3 year anniversary, wishing you many more to come!

    • February 24, 2014 / 12:45 pm

      Yes, definitely do a list. I have found it to be really fun and it inspires me to try new things.

  27. February 23, 2014 / 4:06 pm

    Happy Blog-adversary!!!
    I love the Just For Fun outfit, especially the hat. I’ve enjoyed getting some fashion tips from you and The Write Balance. Every day ordinary clothes turned into styled outfits. I wish I had enough clothes in my closet to participate.

  28. February 23, 2014 / 6:50 pm

    I love your last outfit! I too have a “roll” (although it has much of a baby bump right now as we are expecting #5). My favorite part is the hat. I love hats although I don’t wear them very often.

  29. February 24, 2014 / 9:39 am

    I love your outfits. You look really neat in them. Those glasses are awesome! I salute you for blogging for three years, wow. I just got started, again. I hope I make it as long as you and keep going.

    • February 24, 2014 / 12:44 pm

      Thank you! I got the glasses for $6 at Forever 21 and can’t believe how many compliments I’ve gotten on them.

  30. February 24, 2014 / 1:29 pm

    Congrats… 3 years good for you 😉 I’m still working for 3 month anniversary 🙂 I like your skirt outfit…. 🙂

  31. February 24, 2014 / 3:51 pm

    I wish I had as much style as you have. I wear the same style day in, day out: jeans and a t-shirt during the winter and jean shorts or pull on shorts with a t-shirt during the summer months.

  32. February 24, 2014 / 5:17 pm

    Congrats on 3 years! I love the skirt outfit and think you totally could pull it off!

  33. February 24, 2014 / 6:52 pm

    Raj you are so pretty! And your Wednesday(13 of 30) outfit was my absolute favorite! Wear it out and about and shine with confidence. Your post brought a bit of sunshine into my day and I am glad I stopped.

    Happy Anniversary, btw!
    Blessings!
    Dawn

  34. February 25, 2014 / 10:04 am

    You are beautiful and brave! It takes a lot of courage to post a picture of yourself everyday. Thinking about it makes me anxious but it does give me a few ideas. I like to hide and be to busy to pay much attention to myself.

  35. February 25, 2014 / 12:49 pm

    LOVE the outfit you didn’t want to wear out!!! (hehe) I understand, though. I have 4 kids 5 years old and under. My tummy flab is my worst enemy right now. Trying to work it off – tone it up. I understand why they do “tummy-tucks” now! Anyways – you’re adorable & I think you should show off your cuteness. That black hat is so sassy – gotta get me one!

  36. February 25, 2014 / 2:47 pm

    Gotta love that mommy roll that pops up in pictures! lol I hate that, but you look great, mama! Love your style 🙂

  37. February 25, 2014 / 3:59 pm

    Happy 3rd Anniversary!!! The outfits are so cute and definitely something you can wear in my neighborhood :). The ladies would be all over it!!! I didn’t even notice “the roll” – you look amazing! But I know that self doubt and all the stuff that comes out of “the mirror”. I’m so glad you are doing what you are passionate about in your blog and that you found a way, in selfies 🙂 (love it!), to get over any self doubt. That’s awesome!

  38. February 25, 2014 / 5:44 pm

    Those are all cute, but I love, love, love that first outfit. The pink heels really adds the right look to the whole outfit!

  39. February 26, 2014 / 12:10 am

    Love this outfits, especially the skirt! And you look so adorable!!

  40. February 26, 2014 / 5:49 am

    Happy Third Blogaversary. Didn’t notice the roll, just thought your outfit was really cute.

  41. February 26, 2014 / 8:32 am

    I love all of the outfits on you but I would probably feel most comfortable in #1. I don’t dress up much. Lol. Love the hat, too!

  42. February 26, 2014 / 12:36 pm

    Happy blogiversary! I live in a rural area and I understand feeling self conscious in certain clothing. I’ve had 5 kiddos myself and yes, clothes just don’t fit the same after! However, you look great in the last outfit! Keep doing what you are doing and feel confident in your looks!

  43. February 26, 2014 / 4:08 pm

    Happy Bloggerversary! I just started blogging so three years is sooo inspiring to me right now. I battle with self consciousness all the time and it can really steal my joy sometimes.

  44. February 26, 2014 / 6:51 pm

    Wow, that is such a great story! I love your journey of self love. Loving ourselves is so very important and something that is so incredibly hard to do much of the time. 🙂 Thank you for sharing. I love your outfits too, the last one is awesome and so cute!

  45. February 26, 2014 / 7:41 pm

    Happy third anniversary! That third outfit is a winner and you should find somewhere special to go in it, no seriously. I mean it! You look great. I am slowly realizing that everyone has flaws and the only perfect body is photoshopped so you might as well enjoy your sense of fashion.

  46. February 27, 2014 / 7:48 am

    Congratulations on your blogging anniversary! 3 years is a great accomplishment! Looks like you’re a fan of blue. I like wearing that color too. I also have a similar taste in clothes as you do – solid colors, not lots of floral print.

  47. February 27, 2014 / 5:58 pm

    LOVE the pink shoes! Oh my goodness, too cute! And I love the outfit in the third picture as well! I just bought a jean shirt, so now I have ideas on how to wear it:) Thanks!

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