Well hello there. It’s been a while. I know I’ve written a few posts here and there, but a quick scan of the blog archives tells me I haven’t really written from the heart or for the love it since July. Sure I pop in here an there to share something because it’s been sooooo long since I posted, but I kind of lost my groove this summer.
I’ve been talking to some of my friends in the blogging circle lately about this loss of steam (I even wrote a piece that foreshadowed these feelings), and everybody has assured me that it’s a phase, and my creative spark will come back.
Will it come back? It makes sense that it should. I’ve been a writer and a maker my whole life. Whether it was the newspaper I was ‘publishing’ in my backyard at eight years old, or the ‘spaceship that runs on root beer’ model that I made when I was 12 – I’ve always displayed a creative streak.
What scares me this time is how tired I feel – too tired to be creative. The thing I know about my muse is that she is really into being pampered. She only likes to show up after I’ve had a pedicure, indulged in a late night of reading, or have been remembering to eat a nourishing breakfast everyday. She has almost never shown up for the bone tired lady running from meeting to meeting, and surviving on alternating cups of chai and coffee. That’s not her vibe.
So as much I’d like to turn this post into something really positive and say that I have this whole thing figured out and I’m going to jump right back into writing, I can’t. This time the power of positive thinking alone isn’t going to do it for me. And I’m certainly not interested in ‘faking it till I make it’. I’m actually more interested in making it without faking it.
There are a lot of things I don’t know right now like – Do I still want to blog full-time? And, if I keep blogging in the New Year, what do I want to write about? But there are two things I know for sure; I have to write or create to survive (it’s in my DNA), and self-care is no longer an option for me.
Currently my plan is to write when I feel inspired about whatever the heck I feel like. (I’ve been really stuck on sticking to my niche & theme and that has also been discouraging me from writing) And the second part of my plan is to stop beating myself up if I don’t feel like writing sometimes. That might be my first act of self-care.